Mentalist Episode Tag: Cheap Burgundy, 4x17
by Donnamour1969
Summary: Missing scene of Jane and Lisbon's stake-out.  How would these two pass the time?  Why, playing silly games, of course.  Fluff and silliness and Jisbon friendship. Spoilers,4x17. Rated T for mild language.  No copyright infringement intended.


A/N: There are too many ways to count how much I loved this episode! All the Jisbony banter was a balm to my shipper heart. I also think the twist with Darcy investigating Jane is an inspired one. For me, she represents all the conspiracy theorists out there who think Jane is either a mole for Red John or Red John himself. While I don't believe that at all, myself, I can certainly see how someone not privy to all of his machinations could come to that conclusion. It really won't take much evidence to form a pretty good case against him, starting with Jane bugging Bosco to his recent Panzer cover-up. I'm looking forward to the show down, even though it could end up in a terrible place for everyone. And I don't think any of us would be surprised if Darcy became Red John's next victim.

That being said, I'll leave the serious tag for another time, and instead focus on continuing the lighthearted tone between Lisbon and Jane in this episode. I hope you enjoy this foray into fluff and silliness.

**Episode Tag: Cheap Burgundy, 4x17**

"I can't believe you had me come all this way to stake out a pizza joint with you," said Lisbon, thirty minutes into their waiting game.

Jane shrugged. "I needed the company; you know how boring stake outs can be. Besides, you needed a break from that case back home, and we've already established that you've missed me."

"I take it back. Now that I'm in your presence again, it's all coming back to me why I happily gave you up to Darcy in the first place. Speaking of which…"

"All in good time, Lisbon. All in good time."

He took out his cell phone, squinted toward Mama Sylvia's Pizzeria, then punched in a few numbers.

"What are you doing?"

He held up a silencing finger and spoke into the phone.

"Uh yes—I need an order for pick-up, please."

Lisbon grinned. "Black olives and mushrooms, no onions," she whispered. He nodded.

"A medium supreme, no onions."

"Jane—" she protested. She hated bell peppers too, which typically decorated a supreme pizza.

"Thirty minutes? Okay, thanks. Teresa Lisbon will be picking it up."

"Why am _I_ picking it up?" she said in annoyance after he hung up. "You ordered it."

"Because they know me in there, and I don't want our suspects to be scared off if they see me on the street."

"Who are the suspects?"

"You'll see."

"You're just a mystery inside an enigma inside a conundrum, aren't you?"  
>"And we're back to why you missed me," he said, grinning widely. "Say, you got any cash on you?"<p>

"You're kidding me. Why don't I ever learn?"

"Oh stop. You're just as hungry as I am—maybe more so. I bet you haven't eaten since that cruller this morning."

"How did you know I—" She paused. "And still, I haven't learned."

They sat in silence a moment, each of them relaxing into their seats for the duration.

"I spy, with my little eye," Jane began the old children's game, "something blue."

"The park bench," she guessed.

"Nope."

"That bicycle."

"Try again."

"The sky."

"Now you're just guessing."

"Because this is a guessing game, Jane. That's how you play."

"No, this is a lesson in mind reading. You need to think of what you know about me and use that vast bank of knowledge to predict what I might pick."

"What I really know about how you think couldn't fill a piggy bank."

He chuckled. "Come on, you have eight years of personal observations to go on. What would I, the redoubtable Patrick Jane, spy with my little eye?"

She smirked, but thought gamely. "Hmmm…Oh! The blue in the lettering for that teahouse."

"Very good, Lisbon. Now, your turn."

She looked out the window a minute, then, careful not to look directly at the object, announced: "I spy something…brown."

"That dog," he said immediately.

"How did you know?"

"Lisbon, your desk is ornamented with pictures of your dogs, past and present, most of them dead—all of them brown. It's like a damn shrine to Sirius. Try again."

She was certainly irritated, but Lisbon was also highly competitive. "I spy…something…black."

"Seriously? That police car. Try again."

"No."

"Come on. Imagine how great you'll feel when you beat me."

"Oh, I'd like to beat you alright," she mumbled petulantly.

He grinned. "One more try, come on."

"Fine. I spy something green."

"Lisbon. Play right."

"What do you mean? I spy something green. Start guessing, oh Redoubtable One."

"There are a million green things out there. I'll guess one, and you'll be able to cheat and say, no, it's that other green thing."

"See, that's why you should never play games with a psychic."

"I'm not a—"

"Let's see," she began, ignoring him, then ticking off her fingers, "you've already ruined poker, chess, checkers, Twenty Questions, _Clue,_ _Apples to Apples_—now, I Spy."

"Well, I'm truly sorry, Lisbon," he pouted. "I do so love playing games with you."

She sighed. "I suppose you can't help who you are." She suddenly brightened. "I can still whip your ass at basketball and tennis." Her smile returned, and Jane grinned back.

"See there, my brains and your brawn make us an unbeatable team."

"I have brains," she protested, offended.

"Of course you do," he said, and she didn't miss the hint of condescension in his tone.

They lapsed into silence again, and Lisbon stared sightlessly out the windshield. She glanced over at her companion and saw that he had closed his eyes, well on the way to one of his trademark catnaps. She nudged him none too gently.

"Hey, don't you dare go to sleep."  
>"What? Why not?"<p>

"Because I have no idea who or what I'm looking for, and besides, you dragged me here, the least you could do is stay awake with me."

"Okay, I'm awake. Say, isn't it about time you moseyed over and rustled up our dinner?"

She gave him a dirty look, paused, then, hunger overtaking aggravation, got out of the car.

"Don't you dare go to sleep while I'm gone," she warned, actually shaking a finger at him.

He reached to the side and reclined his seat a notch. "I wouldn't think of it," he said.

He was asleep before she'd even opened the restaurant door.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Jane awoke to the pounding of Lisbon's fist on the passenger window. She grinned evilly at his startled expression, then took herself and the box of pizza around the car to her own seat.

"What if you've missed our suspects while you were asleep on the job?"

"Meh, they probably will wait 'til the cover of darkness anyway."

"You mean we've been waiting for an hour of daylight for nothing?"

"Not nothing, Lisbon. We've played games, got caught up..."

"Got caught up? Ha. You won't tell me a thing about why Darcy blew you off and left me to pick up the slack."

When he didn't reply, she busied herself setting the box on the middle console, then fished two cans of soda and napkins from her jacket pockets. Jane opened the box, inhaling the aroma of freshly baked pizza. They each picked up a slice and enjoyed their impromptu picnic.

"This was a really good idea," Lisbon said between bites.

He gave her a pair of raised eyebrows by way of _I told you so._

"Nice weather we've been having," she commented.

"The sunset's pretty," he said in amusement at their sudden small talk.

"Yes," she replied, playing along. "It was also pretty yesterday. All that dust in the air…"

"Yeah."

She lowered her half-eaten slice. "You're not going to tell me crap, are you?"

"Nope," he said, mouth full.

"Why not?"

He finished chewing his bite. "Frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. Nice try though, trying to get me relaxed and open to conversation. But isn't it nice to just sit here together, enjoying this tasty repast and the lovely sunset?"

"You realize, not telling me makes me think the worst."

"Stop worrying; you'll get heartburn. I know, let's play another game to keep both our minds off it. You choose."

"Hmm," she said, pretending to think it over. "What game can Jane ruin next? _Name That Tune_? Truth or Dare?"

"Definitely the latter, and not the former, since you couldn't carry a tune in a bucket."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, already getting into the spirit of the other game…"

"Well, I would think the truth part would be a major detractor for the Truth or Dare option, especially for you," she told him wryly.

"Try me."

She chewed thoughtfully a full two minutes before she grinned and turned back to him.

"Truth or dare?" she asked.

"Truth."

Lisbon raised an eyebrow. This was too good to be true. "You sure?"

"Ask away. I'm an open book."

She nearly choked on her Coke at that one. "Okay…did you help Erica Flynn escape?"

He waited a beat, then: "You know, Lisbon, this really is an immature game. I mean, what sort of dares would you give me? Chinese fire drills? Ding-dong ditches? Prank phone calls? Seriously. And I apologize for my earlier remark; you're really not that bad of a singer. I think I could figure out any bars you might hum. Let's play _Name that Tune_."

She smirked at him. "Open book my ass. I knew you were too chicken to play Truth or Dare. You were hoping I'd throw you a soft ball question and then you could try to get some salacious insight into me. Fine, you big baby, we'll play an easier game."

He grinned, not offended in the least. "See, your piggy bank of knowledge is actually quite full when it comes to me. But go ahead, pick a tune, give me a hint, and I will try to name whatever mangled notes you throw my way."

"Well, gee, Jane, how could I refuse such a charming request? Here's your hint, Boy Wonder: it's from a movie."

"I can name that tune in…one note."

"No way."

"Try me," he repeated.

She confidently hummed one note.

"The theme from _Star Wars,"_ he guessed.

"I hate you," she said, and he laughed at her expression.

"Aw, Lisbon, no you don't. I think we both know your feelings for me are quite the contrary."

"No," she replied, picking up another slice of Mama Sylvia's finest, after flicking off the offending pieces of bell pepper. "I'm pretty sure I hate you."

Jane chuckled into the encroaching darkness.

A/N: Silly, I know, but I hope you at least got a smile. I'm still mulling over Friday's episode, and I'm not sure I'll write a tag as yet. I'm still working on the next chapter of "The Ghost and Mr. Jane," and the weekends tend to go by too quickly. Thanks for reading. I hope you review!

P.S.: By the way, several months ago, long before the episode entitled "Scarlet Ribbons," I wrote a one-shot with the same title. So, if you enjoyed Lisbon and Jane playing silly games, you might check out my old fic, in which they play a sexy game of "Twenty Questions." I'd love for you to read it if you haven't already!


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